Everything End of Life.
This podcast is dedicated to talking to experts and others about all aspects of death and dying. You know, that thing we don't really want to talk about!
As a hospice carer and former psychiatric nurse as well as writer and former Theatre director, I invite guests to talk about their roles in and what to expect in the last four weeks of life. What happens to the person dying, what help is there, what to do before and after the event.
Many of the families we go in to see have one thing in common and that is that they don't know what to expect. I thought that a Podcast may help and then discovered so much to explore that is of interest to people such as alternative funerals, what do Hospices actually do, what role do religions play?
So join me for the first interview as we begin this Podcast with Clinical Nurse Specialist Becky Rix where we grasp the nettle and discuss what happens to us generally in those last four weeks.
Time to explore "Everything End of Life".
Everything End of Life.
From Hurricane to Home: How Fostering Changed Our Family Forever
A family transformed by fostering shares their raw, honest journey of opening their home to two young children from backgrounds of neglect. After a year of fostering two siblings who arrived unable to use cutlery, without proper clothing, and never having experienced boundaries, this family reveals the beautiful transformation they've witnessed—and experienced themselves.
What makes this conversation particularly insightful is the multiple perspectives shared: Sarah, who moved out shortly after the children arrived, describes watching the progress from outside "the hurricane"; Shania, who relates to the children through her own challenging childhood, sees herself in their journey; and Rachel, still living at home while studying for GCSEs, experiences the day-to-day reality of creating consistency and boundaries amid the chaos. Together, they paint a complete picture of fostering's challenges and profound rewards.
The family discusses their most powerful revelation—that fostering filled "a hole in our family that we didn't know about until it was filled." As they approach a significant milestone where the children will likely remain permanently in their care, they reflect on the importance of routine, therapeutic approaches, and unfailing consistency in helping these children thrive. Despite the difficulties, their unanimous message rings clear: fostering has been absolutely worth it, transforming not just the children's lives but completing their family in ways they never anticipated.
Considering becoming a foster carer? This family's journey shows that while the path isn't always easy, the opportunity to make a profound difference in children's lives—and discover unexpected completeness in your own family—makes every challenge worthwhile. Have you ever considered how fostering might transform your life too?
For those interested in what Palliative care looks like at home there is "The Last Kiss" (Not a Romance)
Available on Amazon now
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Last-Kiss-Romance-Carers-Stories/dp/1919635289/ref=sr_1_1?crid=13D6YWONKR5YH&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9._59mNNFoc-rROuWZnAQfsG0l3iseuQuK_gx-VxO_fe6DLJR8M0Az039lJk_HxFcW2o2HMhIH3r3PuD7Dj-D6KTwIHDMl2Q51FGLK8UFYOBwbRmrLMbpYoqOL6I5ruLukF1vq7umXueIASDS2pO91JktkZriJDJzgLfPv1ft5UtkdQxs9isRDmzAYzc5MKKztINcNGBq-GRWKxgvc_OV5iKKvpw0I5d7ZQMWuvGZODlY.fqQgWV-yBiNB5186RxkkWvQYBoEsDbyq-Hai3rU1cwg&dib_tag=se&keywords=the+last+kiss+not+a+romance&qid=1713902566&s=books&sprefix=The+Last+kiss+n%2Cstripbooks%2C107&sr=1-1
Hello everyone.
Speaker 2:Just to frame this, we are foster carers for EFS. Not all of us, just Debbie and I, my wife, who's not here at the moment she's a bit busy, but this is Shania pointing at her head. This is Rachel and my other daughter, sarah. Shania is our kind of adopted daughter over the years, friend loving person as much. So we have been fostering now for about a year and there has been some ups and downs. I'm going to leave that there. I'm going to ask Sarah first of all. So we've got two little incumbents. They came to us when they were four and seven and they do have problems and, uh, now they are five and eight. So, sarah, how's that journey been for you?
Speaker 3:I think it's been actually a really productive journey over the past year. Um, we started with a little girl that we couldn't quite help the way we would want to, and then we had these two arrive with us, who were just as challenging, but we were in a different way so that we were able to help them in a different way. So I think there's been a lot of tactics and therapeutical approaches that mum and dad have been able to use to help these girls, and we've been able to see a massive difference from when they first arrived what eight, nine months ago, to where we are now. And I think that my parents living with the girls. It's a little bit difficult for them to see the changes that have happened, but as I Like watching a tree grow yeah.
Speaker 3:As I don't live with my parents. I moved out in november last year. It's been really easy for me to see the progress that has been been being made with the kids from where they were when they first moved in to where they are now.
Speaker 2:It's like the difference between being in the eye of a hurricane and looking at it from the outside okay, so it's been a yeah, it's been a really good journey good thing, okay, so I'm gonna come to rachel last, because I live here, because you live here, exactly, exactly right, so you've got first-hand experience of all of this, and and so I'm gonna come to shania, who, shania if I may, had a bit of a tricky childhood herself, but has just blossomed and been such a wonderful member of our family and is always there for the kids.
Speaker 4:I personally, especially I agree with Sarah because I see it from an outside perspective and I'm completely outside of everything, like they aren't my foster siblings, but I'm obviously very close with the family, so I see a lot of what goes on. I think they've done brilliantly and I think that I see a lot of myself within the children and I get along with them really well and obviously we come from fairly similar backgrounds so I get to relate to them a lot on like a personal level. But they are brilliant and the way that they have grown from when they came here to now is really beautiful to see and again, it comes with a lot of learning and a lot of growth and a lot of effort from all parties involved.
Speaker 2:Yeah, thank you. That's really beautifully put. That's luckily, and uh, I'll say it's a difficult journey with the two that we've got. It's not as as difficult a journey for most, but that's okay. So we've got two quite high-maintenance little girls who are really quite challenging but have made a lot of progress. And what's the difference that we have made to them? That's the question I think that Louise from EFS has asked us. I'm going to ask rachel, what is the difference, rachel, do you think that we have made to these two little girls who came to us? Uh, from neglect, and they were in quite a bad state. They couldn't use a knife and fork. When they arrived they were covered in knits, they had no clothes really, and the whole thing was really quite tricky and and no rules. They've never had any rules, so they were quite feral.
Speaker 2:If we say that's I mean you could say that it's I can't say that's about children, yeah okay, they were quite feral, they were, you know, they were very they were to be fair, all right all right, you take it because yeah, um, but seeing it from like an inside perspective, I'm here day in, day out.
Speaker 1:Obviously there are times I'm not here, but, um, it's like for me, like consistency has been really key, like doing the same thing over and over again routine yeah, like you, like putting in boundaries and enforcing those boundaries has been a big thing and they are.
Speaker 1:They are growing, they have like it is clear to see they've improved, but it's still tricky at times, um, but yeah, it's really nice to see them like growing and changing within us and then I've got to say that they have given you a lot of challenges as well, and and yeah, I?
Speaker 2:I'm doing my gcse, so it's a bit hard yeah, it's tricky when you've got screaming children, but yeah, and we are coming up to a particular, um, interesting date where they will, you know, our foster kids will know whether or not they were going to stay with us or whether they're going to go home. It's pretty much a given that they're going to stay with us because, you know, home is not a viable option. So we've got a journey ahead of us as well, and we're quite happy to come back and chat about that at a later date. So is fostering, uh, a worthwhile thing? Oh my god.
Speaker 2:We just, you know yeah, absolutely absolutely you know, you know, we couldn't see, we couldn't give these two little ones up, uh, and see them bounce around the system, you know, uh, because that would just be horrendous. But have we given them a good home? I think we've got.
Speaker 3:It's like the same thing that my mum said when we got the dogs was that it felt like the dogs it felt just listen okay it feels like there was a hole in our family that we didn't know about until it was filled oh, that is so beautifully right.
Speaker 4:That is really sharp, I got it. Good job, debbie for.
Speaker 2:Okay, so we'll stop recording that. Listen, you know if we think that you should be fostering. You know, absolutely, the journey here is amazing. It's incredible. It's got ups and downs like everything. But definitely we think you know, if you choose to foster, you should be doing the right thing.
Speaker 3:Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 2:Okay, alright. End of recording. That's a big finger, sorry about that. There we go. No, it stops, it's still there, get off, get off, get off.
