Everything End of Life.
This podcast is dedicated to talking to experts and others about all aspects of death and dying. You know, that thing we don't really want to talk about!
As a hospice carer and former psychiatric nurse as well as writer and former Theatre director, I invite guests to talk about their roles in and what to expect in the last four weeks of life. What happens to the person dying, what help is there, what to do before and after the event.
Many of the families we go in to see have one thing in common and that is that they don't know what to expect. I thought that a Podcast may help and then discovered so much to explore that is of interest to people such as alternative funerals, what do Hospices actually do, what role do religions play?
So join me for the first interview as we begin this Podcast with Clinical Nurse Specialist Becky Rix where we grasp the nettle and discuss what happens to us generally in those last four weeks.
Time to explore "Everything End of Life".
Everything End of Life.
The forgotten teenagers battling cancer need our help now more than ever.
At the heart of the healthcare system lies a forgotten generation - teenagers and young adults with cancer who fall into the gap between paediatric and adult services. Richard and Nikki Bowdidge know this painful reality all too well. After losing their son Tom to a rare and aggressive cancer in 2013, they transformed their grief into purpose by creating the Tom Bowdidge Youth Cancer Foundation.
This conversation reveals the remarkable journey of a charity that has raised over £1.8 million and provided critical support to countless young people navigating the trauma of cancer diagnosis and treatment. The Bowdidge's share gut-wrenching stories of teenagers forced to choose between buying food or paying for transport to life-saving treatments - an impossible choice no young person should face, especially with families already struggling under the weight of the cost-of-living crisis.
Their work extends beyond financial assistance. Through providing laptops and educational resources, they're giving young patients something equally vital: a sense of identity beyond their diagnosis and hope for their future. As one recipient touchingly expressed after receiving a laptop that enabled her to continue her education: "You've given me a reason to live."
The conversation takes an uplifting turn as the Bowdiidges share news of their recent MBE honours in the King's Honours List, a well-deserved recognition of their compassionate work. They also reveal their exciting new initiative - Tom's Comfort and Care Kits - practical packages of essential items for young people starting their cancer treatment journey.
The foundation's story demonstrates how tragedy can spark meaningful change when channelled through love and determination. Whether you're a potential supporter, someone working with young people, or simply seeking inspiration, this powerful conversation reminds us that compassion can transform lives even in the darkest circumstances.
For those interested in what Palliative care looks like at home there is "The Last Kiss" (Not a Romance)
Available on Amazon now
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Last-Kiss-Romance-Carers-Stories/dp/1919635289/ref=sr_1_1?crid=13D6YWONKR5YH&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9._59mNNFoc-rROuWZnAQfsG0l3iseuQuK_gx-VxO_fe6DLJR8M0Az039lJk_HxFcW2o2HMhIH3r3PuD7Dj-D6KTwIHDMl2Q51FGLK8UFYOBwbRmrLMbpYoqOL6I5ruLukF1vq7umXueIASDS2pO91JktkZriJDJzgLfPv1ft5UtkdQxs9isRDmzAYzc5MKKztINcNGBq-GRWKxgvc_OV5iKKvpw0I5d7ZQMWuvGZODlY.fqQgWV-yBiNB5186RxkkWvQYBoEsDbyq-Hai3rU1cwg&dib_tag=se&keywords=the+last+kiss+not+a+romance&qid=1713902566&s=books&sprefix=The+Last+kiss+n%2Cstripbooks%2C107&sr=1-1
Hello and welcome to Everything End of Life with me, Jason Cottrell and guests, and my guests today are Richard and Nikki Bowditch from the Tom Bowditch Youth Cancer Foundation. Hello folks, how are you?
Speaker 2:Hello. Yes, we're very good. Thank you On this very wet morning.
Speaker 1:Just isn't it? Yeah, Yucky, yucky. So I interviewed I think it must have been nearly a year ago and we talked about your history, about the foundation, about what it does, and I asked you if you'd be kind enough to come back the following year just to see how you've been getting on and that sort of thing. Didn't realise what an amazing year you're about to have. So that's fantastic. But before we get into that, let's just recap, if we could, about how the foundation came about and what it does for the youth of today.
Speaker 2:Today. So gosh, yes. Back 11 years ago, in 2013, we lost our son, tom, to an extremely rare and aggressive cancer. Whilst Tom had been poorly, he'd been diagnosed in 2012. He made it his mission to raise money um for teenagers and young adults with cancer and during that time, he decided that he wanted to um set up his own charity. Sadly, he didn't see that come to fruition because he passed away in the october 2013 and richard and I decided that we would take his dream and give him a legacy, and so we set up the charity in 2014 and it's gone from strength to strength. We've now just gone through the 1.8 million barrier. Wow, I know incredible. Tom made it very clear the things that were missing for teenagers.
Speaker 1:They're very much the forgotten generation when it comes to cancer care yeah, I remember you talking about there not being actually facilities for that in between types. There's for children, there's lots of facilities for adults, lots of facilities, the in-between bit, not a lot yeah, there's not a lot.
Speaker 2:No, we have the amazing teenage cancer trust and they have various units around the country, but it's not enough to cover everybody. It's also not enough when you have to be sent to your local hospitals. They aren't then geared up to be able to help out. Tom always said I'm not a six-year-old and I'm not a six-year-old. He said I need my own type of facilities. I need Wi-Fi forold. He said you know, I need my own type facilities. I need Wi-Fi for starters. He said I don't want my dad sleeping on the floor because they can't provide a chair or a bed for him. I want them near me.
Speaker 2:So that was sort of one of the areas. The other area was, and has become so we've just been so desperately needed especially this year we've hit record numbers is the support of travel costs through because of the cost of living crisis. Everybody is really struggling and, of course, no one more so than that all the families that have possibly lost incomes because they've had to take time off to look after their young person, and so it's sort of become very much a needed sort of thing that we didn't anticipate. We knew we would, you know, be there to help those, but we really didn't expect it to hit the record numbers that it has this year.
Speaker 1:This is because the kind of political landscape has changed, hasn't it Absolutely?
Speaker 2:And the economic landscape as well, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:And the economic specifically. I think that has hit so many people. I mean, we hear about this all the time that people are struggling. Food banks are still on the rise, you know, and it's a bit of a tricky situation. Yeah, so then, if you're faced with a diagnosis that means you've got to travel, that must be just like a kick in the teeth.
Speaker 2:Absolutely be just like a kicking their teeth absolutely, and for many they're not traveling locally. They might be going to specialist centers that are, you know, many miles away. They may not be staying overnight, they may be traveling there every day. Some people have got round trips of sort of two, three hundred hundred miles every single day, plus they feel absolutely rubbish because their treatment is making them feel so bad, got to pay for parking, just so many extra costs, and that's just to get them, you know, to to actually have their life-saving treatment we had two young lads I may have mentioned before that we discovered were having to make a decision between and these were separate cases a decision between whether or not they were going to pay their food bill and have food that week, or whether they would pay the transport to get to the hospital.
Speaker 2:and they chose the food and you just think but you need your treatment in order to keep you alive. We shouldn't be in this situation.
Speaker 1:I was just going to say it's crazy, isn't it? But here we are. You know, one of the richest countries in the world, and you know we're with a free, supposedly a point of delivery, nhs, and yet with all these hidden costs. That's just really unfair. I think you know the fact that there's a need for a charity like yours is, you know, a bit shameful on on our society, I think yeah, I think record um, they've done some research.
Speaker 2:It's an extra 750 pounds a month per family that has a young person diagnosed with cancer that they have to find and so many people have got a young mum. She works um at uh in a supermarket, famous supermarket and she has asked for time off and they have said, but you haven't got the cancer, your child's got the cancer and therefore, no, you won't get paid leave so it's not not living compassionately, but it's just you know when tom was in hospital.
Speaker 3:We had one one mum who she applied for it, and they said you can have as many unpaid days off as you like, so she. So she resigned, and that's often the problem is, as nicky's alluding to parent, one of the parents or a carer may often have to give up work because they're looking after a very, very young child.
Speaker 1:So let's talk a little bit about some of your successes, because you've had quite a few, so just give us maybe a couple of case studies or examples of how the charity has specifically helped specific people. You don't have to give any names or anything GDPR and the like.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, absolutely. There's one young girl that we helped. We quite often give laptops and it equipment because not everybody, you know, has their own and one of the things that they very much. These young people are so determined they're going to beat their cancer but they can't see what their future is going to look like. And we gave this one girl her laptop and she was able to take on a signing course that when she then went into remission she then could pick up where she'd sort of left off on her college et cetera, and go into a job.
Speaker 2:And she said to us, when she received the laptop, she said you've given me a reason to live. You know, life itself wasn't just a reason to live she actually needed. You know, had this bowling ball thrown at them at the hardest time of their life. Anyway, you know, all these changes are taking place and to give her that reason to live, you know, was just an amazing, amazing thing. That that we could do. And quite often many of them do say you know, we're not sure where we're at, we're not sure who we are anymore. So, by being able to give them something that they can stay as close on that path of what their future is going to be is so important, and to keep them like yes, you will still be employable, yes, you still will be able to follow your college course, it might take longer, but you're still still on there. So that sort of is incredible.
Speaker 1:You touched on that point of identity and I think there's a really interesting thing. Is that when you are diagnosed with something, do you become it? Or, you know, is that your identity? Am I the cancer patient? Am I no longer me? And that must be a really difficult one, especially for teenagers. So is that something you navigate?
Speaker 2:to help them.
Speaker 2:Yes, we do we actually, um, we held sort of like mentoring sessions really with them and we had sort of four or five youngsters come up to london and see if that in itself is tiring, because you know they're they're really tired and you know it's a big thing. And they came up and we also had some, some people from the business world that came and sat with them, that looked at their cvs and it was really shocking to think that some of them were we won't tell an employer that we've had cancer because they won't want to employ us. And and those wonderful business people that we had there went you're joking, aren't you? You have shown resilience and strength and so much more determination than the many people we might see. Absolutely, we would want to employ you, you know, and just gave them that oomph that that sort of you know really it's an interesting yeah, it's an interesting thing they must develop.
Speaker 1:You must develop a whole new set of social skills and a different skill set and all together if it's for as a teenager, I can't imagine myself having the brainpower or the smart to deal with the NHS, deal with medications, deal with transport, getting myself to places. I'd have been at a complete loss. So I guess that's something they have to start to learn, which makes them grow as a person hugely.
Speaker 3:Absolutely have to start to learn, which make them grow as a person hugely. Absolutely. One of my one of my clients had actually said it, because one of the fears that tom had was was about how do you explain that gap in your cv. It's not a gap year. He was due to go to university and if he'd got better, he'd had a year, a year or 18 months or whatever out out of out of his CV. And it's how do you explain that to an employer? And oh, did you go traveling? No, I had cancer.
Speaker 3:There was always that worry that an employer might go. Oh, am I prepared to take the risk of it coming back and everything like that. And, as Nicky said, one of my clients turned around and said if they can beat cancer, nothing will faze them. Nothing I throw at them will faz them. And, as you're right, using the word resilience resilience, yeah, is is exactly right. And this course helped these young people understand that they were employable, that they could do, they could make presentations, they could stand up in front of grown-ups, as it were, and hold their own. And recall one young lady wants to be a lawyer when she, when she got through her treatment and and we hope that that has helped her in that transition moving from treatment through to her career path.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean my own daughter. She's 16, and she's thinking of going into law and I can't imagine how I mean it's difficult for her to navigate the education system now, having a diagnosis and treatment and then taking a a break and going back to then. I'm looking at her thinking do you know what? I think you probably could do that because you're very, you're pretty smart, but a lot of her friends I don't think probably would, would be able to. We have to navigate that unless there was that growth in you know, uh, of personality to help them there.
Speaker 1:So it's been let's, uh, let's, get on to this last year or so. So, um, I know, uh, I was, so I was really impressed with the charity and the fact of what you had been doing, and it doesn't come without a price. I mean, I know you personally prayed quite a price over the years for this. But so I nominated you for the Compassionate Communities Award of being a Compassionate Champion. And then I got a phone call from Greg Cooper to say, well, actually, yeah, they've got it. Can you be at the town hall? And I went no, I can't be at the town hall, I won't be there. Sure, so annoying. So I missed that whole ceremony thing, so do tell us a little bit about that. So you got. You were awarded the compassionate champion.
Speaker 2:We were, yes, yes, the whole charity, which was amazing. Yeah, lovely, lovely afternoon. Some amazing stories. You know, you just sit there realizing that you are surrounded by other amazing people and you know how, how sort of heartbreaking some of the stories are. Um and again, how people sort of, you know, get on with it, they just get on with their life. Lovely, lovely to uh, meet the mayor in person. She was very supportive, she knew all about us, etc. Then we had a wonderful time out on the balcony storm. Might never do this again in my life, so that was exciting, it was it was lovely.
Speaker 1:It was lovely. Did you wave like the queen, did you?
Speaker 2:I couldn't work out why no one was waiting back. What is that stupid woman doing up there? So yeah, it's lovely to be recognized for the work um you know, and yes, it was a super thing. We felt very honored to be. I think it's a super thing. We felt very honoured to be.
Speaker 1:It's a fantastic thing, I think, that Greg Cooper and Sean Leake and many others have now started to form together and Colchester, I think, was awarded Compassionate City status. So now it's really nice to see people getting recognised for the work that they do officially, because we know out there there are so many people doing such amazing work, from people looking after their own relatives to people like yourselves creating charities to help look after other people's relatives, and so forth and so on. I mean, there's another nomination who I want to speak to soon is Joe from Redline Books, because they started up a cafe called the Death Cafe and it was because they had experienced loss and just opened up the bookshop for people to come once a month or once now and again to talk about it, to talk, you know, to support each other. What a lovely idea. So you know, it's such a different range of things that people get awarded for. So you got your award and simply because of that, I stood in the Absolutely Get ready.
Speaker 1:It's not very watching. I've got to say this I was just standing with the kids in the co-op one day and chatting away and they were just being all over the place as they are. And then I turned around and there's Richard standing behind me. I said, well, hello, recognized your voice before I recognized you. Okay, fair enough. Yeah, stop that. Fair enough. Yes, stop that, put that down, don't touch that. You know that kind of thing. And um, and I said, how's it going? And he just turned around and pointed at the newspaper, the gazette, I think, and said, oh, we've got an mbe. You know not much happening really. So that must have been incredible, incredible. So do tell me about. Do tell me about the, the mb. How did that come about? You, they must contact you and say and you go no, it's a spoof phone call, isn't it? This is Did that come about? They must contact you and say and you go no, it's a spoof phone call, isn't it?
Speaker 3:This is.
Speaker 2:Well, funnily enough, we both got contacted separately back in February and I got contacted where they were asking me about Richard and he likewise got contacted and we didn't say anything to each other because it says please don't tell the person. So we did it and we both were a thought to ourselves.
Speaker 3:This is an absolute wind-up, total spook they asked quite personal information and you do all the due diligence of checking, finding them on linkedin and everything like that, before you realize.
Speaker 2:Well, it could be true we both did tell our daughter, we did both say to her so she had to hold the secret, but we didn't tell each other and nothing happened. It was like, yeah, I don't reckon that's happening. And then in November we came back and blow me if there were these very important-looking letters sealed by sellotape.
Speaker 1:Sellotape right. No expense spared.
Speaker 2:With the king's message on the front.
Speaker 1:Brilliant.
Speaker 2:We were funny. I literally popped in to get something, ran back to the car where Emma was our daughter and handed this letter to Richard. I'd got mine and I said I think we'd better open this together. I went what do you think it is? And Richard used a few expletives I'm still reading it because I'm trying to understand what all the words say and Emma just went. Oh, thank God you both now know All similar to that.
Speaker 1:She doesn't have a family secret anymore. That's just bizarre, fantastic, wow, that's amazing.
Speaker 2:And yeah we can't believe it and, of course, you can't tell anyone, which is really hard and we used to. Each night, one of us would be googling something about it on online yeah I just need to check what people wear, and when will this be?
Speaker 3:yeah, I'd come upstairs with a cup of tea and say good morning, mrs bodie.
Speaker 2:Yes, good morning, mr boyd. Then we just had to drop. We had to lose it because it was getting so hard. It's like just forget, forget, forget through my sleep and then we had a lovely lady ringer separately, um, I think she had teams with you, yeah, from the cabinet office. And then she rang me the next day and asked if we would be happy if the press got in contact.
Speaker 1:Uh, yes, and then, yes, wouldn't be the foundation, any good at all would have, clearly, absolutely I don't want any.
Speaker 2:So then, uh, she, she. We knew then when it had been released, because suddenly the phone didn't stop. I think at one point I was in the middle of a furniture store in Ipswich and I had to give an interview in the tea room.
Speaker 1:Really, that's awesome Greatest Hits.
Speaker 3:Radio and she's just fingering her ear. That's marvellous. How amazing.
Speaker 2:People like us don't get things like this, and we will always, always dedicate any awards to our supporters and donors.
Speaker 2:Because, yeah, we do the work. I know that. However, if they didn't give the money, we couldn't do the work. So you know it is for everybody. We did get asked a lot what we thought Tom would think and I said, said I can tell you exactly what tom would do if he'd been given one. I said he would ask whichever royal we will have in the ceremony. He would ask them what they could do for the charity to help.
Speaker 1:He would push it quite right too absolutely that's, that's so no so you you went. So you went to buckingham palace, was it, or I don't know where is it?
Speaker 2:no, we think it will be possibly six months ish we're sort of looking at the moment, uh, we're watching people that were awarded theirs in the birthday honors and they are just sort of going through those at the moment so so we're assuming ours might be six, seven months down the line, so we should be nice because it will be summer.
Speaker 3:But what's really nice is that we go up together so we don't miss it, so it's not a case of one missing the other one. We're also allowed to take three guests each, so it'll be a family affair.
Speaker 1:That would be fabulous. And the most important question which you raised earlier is what are you going to wear?
Speaker 2:Quite Absolutely. I mean, I feel a new outfit coming up.
Speaker 1:I think it's got to be, hasn't it really, Good Lord?
Speaker 2:Oh no, I have found a shop online that does actually do outfits for your ceremony.
Speaker 3:No, really, I've got one too. It's called Moss Blossom.
Speaker 1:Oh, I didn't know. I'm not going to advertise. The gentlemen's outfitters are available. Oh yes, yeah, george down at Asda does quite a nice suit, I think. Go on the cheek.
Speaker 3:I'm going to be boring and traditional and go tails.
Speaker 1:Okay, very good, very nice, I like that. I like that. What?
Speaker 2:we found out recently is we get different, although we've both got MBE. Mine is um is a t-shaped red ribbon and richard's just a straight down red ribbon. I have no idea, don't know why.
Speaker 3:So I get slightly bigger one, and then we can buy, and we can buy them. I think we can then get like a little miniature one, that's like a dress one, so you know, like you get the miniature medals yeah, yeah um, and then we can also buy a little pin badge as well, so that it's we can wear it on a lapel or something.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry you have to buy that rather than they give it to you, yes, the other one's free. No wonder the royal family are rich. You know, that's all I'm saying.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we have to buy that. But what an honour. We're still pinching ourselves thinking, wow, never, ever did we think.
Speaker 1:And I mean what do you think? I mean that has got to have a knock-on effect for the charity because you're going to get, as MBE people, a much wider audience as well and invited to different kinds of events. I'm guessing the networking will help the networking to grow. Am I right in that? Is that something you think might happen? I'm hoping yes.
Speaker 2:Yes, no row. Is that? Am I right in that? Is that something you think might happen? Yes, yes, no, we have heard that. Yes, some charities, it absolutely, you know, catapults them. Basically, I think from my point of view, it it just shows that we there are a lot of people that think we're doing this to make us feel better and for us to cope with tom's loss, and that isn't doesn't help us cope with tom's loss.
Speaker 1:We're still a grieving pairing you know, going through hell, that would never stop would it surely no exactly and certainly doing this.
Speaker 2:In fact, we have to talk about it more and more and you could say well that that's worse. We are more than comfortable with it. But I think it shows that we are totally genuine, that our work is absolutely recognized and that that then gives people the confidence perhaps to want to, to then support us and hopefully in bigger ways, because the work, our workload for actually helping youngsters now is just phenomenal. You know it's it's getting really desperate out there and I think, harder, as we've, you know, talked about earlier. You know, with the economies, that puts a greater strain on us. A lot of other small charities similar to us that have done similar things have closed because they just haven't been able to sort of keep going. So that again puts pressure on us because we we're covering their, their backs as well yeah and so I just hope it makes people think, yes, they're a a good, viable, solid charity.
Speaker 2:That's been recognized and and they are worth. You know they're not. When we reach 10 years, lots of people said to us when you close down, no, no, oh well, we'll keep going while we're still needed and I feel that might see us out might be a while. Yeah, might be a while exactly um let me ask from that point sorry, no go on last thing go on.
Speaker 1:That was it okay so they must have researched you, somebody must have nominated you. So do you know any idea of that?
Speaker 3:background story, no idea. When the lady from the cabinet office phoned up bless her, she runs, she runs. You get a when the letter comes through. You get a synopsis of the citation and then she phones up to go through the whole citation, which is what's then released to the Press Association. It's the numbers that are used in terms of the number of people we'd helped and the amount we'd raised. Were probably about a year or so old, maybe 18 months old.
Speaker 3:So that's possibly how long ago the application went in. But then there was a… oh, Are you there? It says… Sorry. It suddenly came up and said reload.
Speaker 1:No, it's okay. Can you hear me? I can hear you. Yeah, Can you hear me? I can hear you. Yeah, Can you see me?
Speaker 2:I'm going back in there. We're definitely here. How weird is that.
Speaker 3:And so there was a fundamental error in the citation, which said that Tom had set up the charity Right.
Speaker 1:Which he didn't.
Speaker 3:He wanted it, it was his idea, and this is about us turning his idea into a reality rather than setting up on behalf of his legacy. So with that, dismissed a whole load of people straight off our list, as it might be, but it is entirely up to them whether they tell us or not, because otherwise we'll never know. I don't think I want to know. No, I don't know, I'm just really grateful for whoever did it, that it's such a privilege and an honour.
Speaker 1:Yes. Can you hear that in the background. Yeah, my dog, we've got a full-length window.
Speaker 2:Yes, somebody's dared to walk in front of it. Not a community If the neighbours walk into the house.
Speaker 1:I mean she goes off on one. Bless her, bless her. I think she's settling down now, so give her a moment and I like to keep that kind of thing in, because that's quite human, you know. So to all of my listeners out there, you know it's my dog. She's annoying but I love her.
Speaker 2:It's clearly got something to say just give me oi quiet.
Speaker 1:That works, blimey doesn't know that did well. Impressed for now, for now, for now, yes, so okay. So going forwards, what's the plan for the next? I saw you on I'm not sure if it was Facebook or LinkedIn or something, but you were wearing a costume and out there doing fundraising a little while ago.
Speaker 2:Is it a giraffe costume?
Speaker 1:Yes, that's the one, yes.
Speaker 2:Yes, so that was Lindsay, our lovely fundraiser. Yes, because we've got Zoo Stampede coming back and she was off to the zoo to do some filming and I sort of said I said Tom had loads and loads of onesies that were animals. I wonder if we've got a zoo one. Sure enough, there was a giraffe.
Speaker 1:So obviously, when Choice of giraffe or penguin, okay, I'll go for giraffe every time actually, and difficult to walk in a penguin suit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so we every time, actually and a difficult to walk in a penguin suit. Yeah, so we've got lots of fundraising events. Um, we, we've signed up with a company called run of charity and that basically opens up hundreds, thousands of different events that people can apply to do and run for us, and it saves us the the effort of having to to sort of put on events that we may not get the numbers for. So that's really exciting. And, uh, yes, several, several supporters which is always amazing have signed up to do the Zoo Stampede, so that will be wonderful. Sorry, zoo.
Speaker 1:Stampede. Is that a fun run thing or is that you just let all the animals go and you know see what happens?
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, they're going to be chased by animals. Yes, no, they run around the zoo. Basically, I'm not sure how long the distance is 10km, 10km, oh, that's all hills. And then they get free entry for the rest of the day, if they can walk again.
Speaker 1:Can I say no? I mean, I love running. I do about 5, 6km each run, but going around the zoo that is all hills, those hills.
Speaker 2:I can't walk around it. Yeah, I'm knackered, just getting around the damn.
Speaker 2:Thing let alone running around it. No, that will be great fun, definitely, and lots of other running things. We've got three or four people running the marathon for us, so that's wonderful, so they're all sort of our challenge events. We shall then be launching Teeth Tom, which is where we encourage people to have afternoon tea with each other. There's an afternoon tea day, I believe, in June, and that's a fun fundraiser at work. People can sort of then create their own afternoon teas and raise a few pounds for us, which is lovely.
Speaker 2:But, most excitingly, we are launching at the ball on saturday. We are launching our comfort and care packs and they're called tom's comfort and care kits and they are going to be bags. They are filled with all sorts of things you might need on that, certainly on that initial visit to hospital, because quite often when you're diagnosed, you'll then rush straight off to hospital. There isn't any. Go home, get yourself sorted.
Speaker 2:You can't be then taken straight away and actually you have no idea what chemo or radiation is going to do to you and the things that you might need. So we have looked at all of the things that youngsters have said they find really useful. There'll be things like comfy socks, neck pillows, things to help with the sickness and anti-nausea, the wristbands, headphones because they might get their headphones all in this lovely bag. We've chosen five or six hospitals across the country that are going to pilot it for us. They were so excited. I sort of was worried because they could have come back going no, we won't be able to store this for you et cetera.
Speaker 2:And they all came back almost on return of the email going. This is an amazing idea. Yes, please can we have 800 or whatever? So I'm thrilled with that. Can I just stop you there?
Speaker 1:Yeah sorry. She's going to have a mental. I've just got to see what she's doing. I'm going to let her do this bit out. All right, I'm going to sec. I don't know what's going on there.
Speaker 3:Oi, See you in all the action Once they have that last word. All she's trying to tell you is that there's a burglar ransacking the house behind you.
Speaker 1:They're having an oil delivery next door Ex. So they're you know, being the house behind you. They're having an oil delivery next door X. So they're you know. But at least she's letting me know what's going on, Thanks, very much.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, anyway, where were we?
Speaker 1:Let's get to that.
Speaker 2:Yes, so Comfort and Care Packs. So yes, the hospitals are extremely excited. So you know we cannot wait to get those. We're going to get some corporate sponsors to come down and help pack the bags so that gets them involved.
Speaker 1:That is such a great idea. I mean, from what my understanding would be, is that when you call it a comfort thing, it's got to be that, because immediately they get there and they get that bag, they know someone cares, someone cares enough to be ahead of the game for them.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, that's such a wonderful idea. Generally, most of the nursing staff, the teenage and young adult nurses in particular, came back and said the words again yeah, because they're forgotten. You often get lovely packs that might be there for the children that have got teddies and lovely things like that in.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And you know breast cancer. They will do their packs for other breast cancer patients, etc. Where are my lovely teenagers?
Speaker 3:You know, again forgotten.
Speaker 2:So we're very excited about that. It's been a long time being planned, etc I mean really too long and then things have come along and it got put on the back burner. So I'm really thrilled that we finally finally got it together and it's it's launching all right, that's definitely a huge thing, isn't it a huge project what's really great about it as well.
Speaker 3:As nikki said, we've got corporate supporters the one and come and help pack them. There's also a great opportunity for a corporate to get on board and sponsor right a pack of a load of packs, get, get their, get their brand awareness and their name out there as a yeah, from a csr point of view, that it's really really strong, strong physical thing.
Speaker 1:It's a real practical thing, isn't it get? There, get there yeah, and that is one. That's what the corporate. It's a business world and, yes, they do like to be seen to do charity, but also, if I'm guessing, if they've got their actual logo on something maybe not in the pack, but you know, in the advertising or whatever, that's going to lift their business as well, isn't it?
Speaker 2:exact, yes, absolutely. I think also as well, as we're going to encourage people maybe that have bought a pack, sponsored a pack, to write a message to the young person, so when they open it they can actually attach it to an individual who has done it? I think there was one lad a little while ago and we helped him out and he turned around to his social worker and he said why does nobody care about us? And I thought oh my goodness, because we are out there to care.
Speaker 2:There are other charities out there that will care. But he hadn't felt any of this love and this caring. You know, he felt everything was against him and I thought, yeah, they shouldn't even have to feel that whatsoever. You know, they should immediately feel like we're there fighting their corner for them.
Speaker 1:I think there's a problem with signposting. Isn't there? Because you know and I've seen this in other areas, even in end of life care that when somebody gets diagnosed.
Speaker 1:There's not the signposting there that there should be. The very moment you know somebody has a diagnosis, then there should be this pack that says, right, okay, here's all the different support that you can get, here's the people that can help you find the support that you can get. Yeah, you know, and absolutely that level of intervention doesn't seem to be there by itself. I mean, certainly you've got some amazing places like single point for the hospice who could just give out great amounts of. But if you don't know, if you've just been diagnosed and nobody tells you that single point's there, then you know I was a charge nurse for years and I didn't know what a hospice did. So you know, if I didn't know, you know, no, exactly it's.
Speaker 2:I think even when tom was was first diagnosed back in 11 years ago certainly had never heard of teenage cancer, charles. We didn't even know that really teenage cancer was really a thing. And literally my thing was well, we must go to the Royal Marlstone because in my head that was the only hospital that was able to deal with cancer.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know, and that's only 11 years ago, so we have come a very long way, um, but my goodness, we've still got so far to go, so far to go I've got to give you a heads up on something.
Speaker 1:We were talking about businesses just a couple of minutes ago and it just reminded me that there, as part of the compassionate colchester initiative, oh, there is a growing group I think you can find them on LinkedIn of compassionate businesses. So, yeah, so they're having a meeting at the university, I think on the 26th, but the person to chat with is Greg Cooper about that and he can advise you if not for this particular meeting. But this group is a growing group of businesses. There's understanding the importance of compassion in the community and mainly because Greg and Sean, I think you know, got this thing growing and it's a very practical idea, I think, is saying that there is stuff that you can do and stuff that you can help and, you know, it's not just about being profitable but that might come as a part of being a part of the compassionate community so so that's, you know, it's a good practical thing.
Speaker 1:So something for you to phone up great, definitely, hello. You need to be a part of this. Yes, hello, yes, what is?
Speaker 2:this. Yes, yes, we were at an event recently up in in suffolk and that was full of other cancer sort of charities or organizations and that was wonderful from us. So you know, macmillan was there but Macmillan out in the farming environment etc. And it was lovely to be able to chat with each other to find out what everybody does. Obviously, lots of people were homing in on us because it was like, wow, teenagers, wow, again, the forgotten thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:What do you do? How could you know? We will make sure that we know you. You know we may only see one farming family. You know that have got a young person but, they now know where to go straight away.
Speaker 1:It's great, that is part of the signposting though, isn't it? So it's saying we're here.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, it is Exactly. And how important. There was a wig person there and we went to chat to them because quite often we have to do wigs. Yeah, it's sort of it was a coming together to all of us like-minded. But what is your role, what do you do, how do you? And sort of you know, yeah, and I think we need more of that, certainly amongst the community as such, from our point of view.
Speaker 1:I think definitely that it's growing. It is definitely growing. I mean, I know that Greg from St Helena Hospice has, you know, he's been pushing this agenda for quite a while and it is really beginning to come together now. You know we are seeing businesses doing a lot more networking specifically with compassion in mind, absolutely, and that can only be you know helpful for everybody.
Speaker 2:Yes, so there we go. In the business world you say that quite often they you know people look to see what their, their csr is, etc.
Speaker 3:Don't you, my day job, working in london, you, you hear more and more evidential stories of where employee, potentially employees, have asked what is the csr story about the, the company that they're being interviewed by? It's not always about pound, shillings and pence. It's about what? What impact are you having in in your local society or your community? Your community, yeah, yeah, and that that's quite, quite interesting to see that that's been driven not from the top down, from the shareholders downward, saying you've got to enhance shareholder value by doing this. It's employees pushing upward, saying you need to enhance my experience of being an employee and my self self feeling of self-worth is that right.
Speaker 1:I think that's. That's brilliant. I've got a friend called martin rodis who has got a thing called Elephants in Rooms and what he does is he goes into big corporate places as well and he points out the figures to them of how much money they might lose. This is brilliant, I've got to say Each year through grief and loss, and then he offers to train people to be grief first aiders, which, of course, is a practical thing. That will help them. If there's somebody there to care for somebody who's going through that tricky moment, that will actually practically help them to not take so much time off or even if they do, they'll come back a much more valued because they'll think my organization actually does care about me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, absolutely it's a win-win all around. So I think that's you know, it's a, it's a whole growing area, isn't it saying look, compassion isn't just about people going to bless you know no, uh, are you feeling better now? Yeah, it's like anger management and saying, well, just calm down, you know, it's that. It's that same thing, isn't it? Yeah, I need a bit more than that, folks, I think yeah.
Speaker 3:Yes, absolutely, and it's something also Sorry.
Speaker 1:Go on For companies to be aware that employees are not robots oh, you're back, hang on, I lost you there for a second.
Speaker 3:I was saying it's also important for employers to appreciate that their employees are not robots. Yeah, they're not lemons that can be squeezed until the pips come out and you then get some more out of Tesco's. They are people that can make a difference and if you make their experience of being an employee when they're in a time of need that little bit better, their contribution back to you as an employer will be greatly enhanced, because of the loyalty they feel towards you.
Speaker 1:Absolutely.
Speaker 3:And that's driven me where companies have helped me, whether it be through the direct situation when Tom was ill and Tom died, through to those that are seeing the good that the foundation is doing and want to support the foundation. Yeah, and that's been very, very important to me.
Speaker 1:You know it is such an incredible foundation. Talking about that, I'm casting my mind back to when I was a staff nurse in the NHS, and it was quite a while ago. So things have changed and moved on, I'm pretty sure. But actually there was a great feeling of camaraderie amongst the staff on the ground floor but an absolute understanding that the management didn't really care. You know they didn't care about you as an individual, which in psychiatry you would think would be counterintuitive, but no, so I'm kind of hoping that's changed over the years. But yeah, if I'd felt more valued back then and people would say, well, what career path were you thinking of following and how can we facilitate that? And yada, yada, yada. But as opposed to oh, I've got to start this.
Speaker 3:I can't come up with that well, but in the commercial world I think it is changing. You still hear some horror stories, but on the whole, I got an email from one of my prospective business clients who's saying we're looking at you as a possible charity of the year. So there's more and more of those. You're seeing those, yeah, and I had a meeting with somebody only last week and I'm looking at you, do the research on the website and there's a big section about their community payback and their CSR and everything like that, and you think actually that's becoming a bigger part of corporate and I hope that that flows through to the world at large.
Speaker 2:I think the one thing that I ask the fact you just used the words charity of the year. I don't like charity of the year, I like to think of it as a partnership. So for me it's about charity partnerships because it's a two-way thing, you know it is charity of the year sort of suggests well, we want your money.
Speaker 2:Thank you very much, and this is what we do, whereas actually I want it to be a partnership between the two, because I think once you involve people and you get them right into the the nitty-gritty of what we do, why we do it not what we do, but why we're doing the job we do that then you become, you get them much more deeply involved because you know charity of the year yes, thank you very much. 2025. Goodbye. See you again. I'm looking for lifelong people that are yeah you're getting a small oscar.
Speaker 1:Yeah, have an oscar sod off, thank you, thanks very much.
Speaker 2:Yes, that's right, you know, and I think that's so important. I think that has to be the change that we look at. We're going to be able to work with corporates that we do value them, but so much more, as you know, as as what they're there for yeah, yeah, you know they're our ambassadors.
Speaker 2:They're the people that can go out in the world, whoever they talk to and spread the word about what we do. Quite often, when we do go up and chat to them, there will be a story somewhere in the room. You know, my niece, my nephew, my own child, my whatever that has has been touched by cancer in some ways.
Speaker 1:It's. You know, we're a world made up of human beings, you know, not just employees and employers and the like. So, yeah, everybody's got the stories Listen. It's been amazing catching up with you Great to see you again and hearing you get it and I'm really glad that because of my interview, you got an MBE Totally. We've got you get it and I'm really glad that because of my interview, you got an MBE.
Speaker 2:That was Totally it was 100%.
Speaker 3:It was written right at the bottom of the citation.
Speaker 1:We knew I was listening to this. King Charles specifically said If only that was true. If only that were true.
Speaker 3:He'd listened to some podcasts.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's like that would be wonderful you could have a royal appointment. We'll tell him.
Speaker 1:I've got to tell you a bit of gossip. Actually, my brother has got a firm, a carpentry firm, and they've been doing more and more work for people like Westminster Cathedral on this and has just been asked to do work for Buckingham Palace Fantastic which means they have to have a contract with the king. So that's just fabulous. Yeah, I uh, I think, um, I said next time I see you I'll have to curtsy and absolutely.
Speaker 2:You'd be amazed how many people curtsy to us now.
Speaker 3:Yeah, one of my friends, one of my friends. Whenever he texts me, he said hi, richard, and he puts brackets small and I know it's his predictive text overriding. He wants to put um curtsies, but puts brackets small, courtesy. I walk into the cutoff and the girls that they're kneeling down packing a shelf they said, oh, we heard you were coming, so we just got ourselves ready for your arrival.
Speaker 1:Perfect.
Speaker 2:I'll take that.
Speaker 1:Take that yeah.
Speaker 3:Take it when I get it. I took one of my contracts, congratulated me on my knighthood Not yet Okay.
Speaker 1:Well, it's in the post. You know it's got to be in the post.
Speaker 3:After this podcast or the next Compassionate Award day.
Speaker 1:Right, so do tell me obviously how people can get in contact to uh get involved or to donate or to help in any way that they possibly can, or even to, because they need.
Speaker 2:You, need you yeah, absolutely the the best way is on our website. So wwwtombodichfoundationorg.
Speaker 1:Just spell Bodich for me.
Speaker 2:B-O-W-D-I-D-G-E.
Speaker 1:Okay, fantastic.
Speaker 2:And everything is on there Donate, apply for help, contact numbers, everything. If people want to be kept up to date, sign up to our newsletter. We don't bombard you with loads of stuff, but it is a good way of finding out what we are up to. But everything's on the website All our socials. You can find us on every social channel. But, yes, we're there for anybody that needs us.
Speaker 1:You might even get to see the giraffe sometime, yes she will make special appearances.
Speaker 2:I'll go and tell her. Available on special request. Has to be a large note.
Speaker 1:A large note Children's yeah, brilliant. Well, yeah, I've got a few. I'm in need of entertainers.
Speaker 2:What's giving me a new idea.
Speaker 1:Don't tell Lindsay, don't tell Lindsay I'm saying nothing.
Speaker 3:It's bad enough.
Speaker 1:I have to dress as a beagle. Sometimes. I'm sure you look beautiful as a beagle. That's great. Alright, listen, once again, it's been fantastic talking to you both.
Speaker 1:I think it's an amazing charity that you put together and continue to promote, and I just hope it gets a lot more coverage because of the MBE and you get a lot more money coming in. That's what we need. All right, lovely, so I'm going to end it there. If you don't leave the meeting, we'll just stay here for a sec. Okay, all right, thanks very much for your time, richard and Nikki Bowditch.
